Tag: submission

Submission is beautiful until it becomes about control. Then it’s witchcraft.

I heard/read this quote on a comment to a Facebook live video. It resonates with me.

I’m going off script- and what I’m trying to say is meant to help those who have fallen victim to spiritual abuse.

Spiritual Abuse is when someone uses the threat of eternal consequences to maintain a position of control.

It sounds a lot like “submit to those who have authority over you, or else…” “submit to your pastor, even if he is wrong, God will bless your obedience” (this one irks me in a special sort of way) or “the only way to be saved is to follow “my” rules- here’s how I twisted scripture to support that”.

It’s been my personal experience (with some, not all) that pastors in the UPCI (United Pentecostal Church International) are obsessed with the idea of pastoral authority. They preach it often as gospel. The pastor’s preferences on matters that are supposed to be a representation of the individuals personal walk with God are preached to be as ideal and as authoritative as the Bible.

Many of the examples pertain to women, but not all.

Women- don’t cut your hair. Men- don’t have long hair.

Women- don’t wear pants or be immodest. Men- don’t wear shorts or appear to be too feminine in your appearance.

Women- don’t wear make up. Men- don’t have beards.

Both- Avoid movie theaters.

Both- Abstain from alcohol and other mind altering drugs.

Both- Ask your pastor for advice before doing anything that affects your personal life.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

Each of these examples are beautiful symbols of consecration IF the believer truly wants to live this way.

The issue is when the believer points out the legalism behind these “standards”.

It’s always coated with a layer of “we don’t do these things TO BE saved, we do these things because WE ARE saved”.

The unspoken implication of course is- if you don’t do these things, then you aren’t really saved. Enter- Spiritual Abuse.

Pastors, friends desiring pastoral roles in this denomination- please see this for what it is.

Please study the cultural context behind the passages most often used to perpetrate this belief system.

Please stop referring to people, like me, who have chosen to live in the freedom God has given us, as backsliders.

It’s damaging. It causes depression and anxiety. It creates a stumbling block.

It’s not your job as a pastor to monitor the day to day lives of your congregation. It’s your job as a pastor to encourage a personal walk with God between God and each unique individual in your church- and that walk- if the culture you create in your church is of authentic freedom- will and should- look differently for every person.

We AREN’T sheep- as much as that term is loved. We ARE all human beings, created in the image of our creator, and we all have the right and the freedom to express our love for Him however HE leads us- not how a pastor sees fit to declare from a pulpit.

(I am aware that this may come across as harsh. A lot of the pastors I know on a personal level would argue that they enforce standards because they have to give an account to God for the souls of their congregation. You aren’t responsible for making people follow a list of rules- only for creating an environment of growth and acceptance.)